Predicting Death

I think I've accepted what is going to happen. Once fluids have been discontinued it takes 7 to 10 days for someone to die. That puts Papaws death Monday or Wednesday of next week. Isn't that awful? I know when he is going to die.

I take comfort in knowing:

He is going to heaven
He would not want to be in this state
He is getting pain management
He had a great 87 years
His family loved him more than any family could have

I don't know how I've accepted this. I don't know if I should have accepted this. I don't do well with crying, let alone with people dying! The only reason I'm staying as strong as I am is because of Christ. I'm relying on Him completely cause I definitely cannot do this on my own.

I was convicted during my quiet time sometime this week though. I was completely relying on God to take care of my grandfather, but I was/am angry with my step-grandmother. She makes poor decisions. She has hurt a lot of people in my family, especially my parents. She just isn't a nice person. She has come between Papaw and his kids a lot. And she accepted my grandfather's fate WAY TOO FAST. She's had him with one foot in the grave for quite a while now (for no reason, Papaw was completely independent and healthy besides high blood pressure before this came about).

I trusted God to take care of my grandpa, but not the relationships that are left in the aftermath. I still wanted to be angry with her. And there's no "but" after that. I still don't want to like her. Mainly because she has hurt my dad so much. It's not my cross to bare, but I still do.