Hard Day

I'm so tired. I worked last night and was woken up this morning with Jordan coming home. I knew it wasn't a good sign because he never comes home in the middle of the day. My mom had called him and said Papaw wasn't doing well and we needed to get to the hospital. So I jumped, as much as my body would let me, out of bed, took a shower and we were on our way.

We stayed about 5 hours. We met with the hospice nurse - who was so rude! Before we met with her I was thinking I could never do her job. How hard it would be meeting families during this time. Going over such hard decisions. Now I know I could do her job so much better than her. Hospice is all about "comfort" care and she was anything but comforting.

But I digress. Something happened today with Papaw that he regurgitated his stomach content and began to suffocate/choke on it. The doctor says it's due to the stroke he cannot swallow the way he used to. He recommended hospice to my grandmother and they discontinued all his antibiotics, tube feeds, and IV fluids. I don't know if I agree with doctor's reasoning, but I agree with the conclusion. Papaw isn't getting better. He just lays in bed and when his eyes open it tends to be a blank stare. Sometime since this accident has happened he has told Mamaw he wants to go be with Jesus. He will be so much better in heaven. His body is terribly broken.

He was transferred to an inpatient hospice center tonight. Without him having any fluids or food I'd say he has about a week left. If he starts to improve, he will have to be transferred out of hospice into a nursing facility.