Hope

I got an unexpected call from my dad tonight. Ever since this accident with Papaw, when I see dad's number pop up on my phone my breath is a little taken away and my heart beats a little faster. Tonights phone call was no exception. But instead of hearing what we've all been dreading, dad proceeded to tell me that the nurse doesn't think Papaw is dying. (the nurses in hospice are apparently very open with patient care, unlike in the hospital where everything is very confidential). The nurse then started talking about moving Papaw out of hospice. We were aware he would have to be moved to a nursing home if he improved, but to actually hear that he doesn't require hospice care is a small miracle. Dad called his family and step-mom and everyone agrees that he needs to start receiving nutrition and fluids again. He'll have to move to a nursing home for that. They are meeting with the hospice doctor tomorrow to figure out the next step.

We visited him on Friday and these are some things I observed that gave me a disturbing, nagging feeling:

He is still making urine. The first system that shuts down on a dying patient is the kidneys. Papaw is still making adequate urine, even without fluids. The average healthy body wouldn't be able to do this, and yet he still is! This shows that his body is not in a poor state of health. His mind may be altered from the stroke, but his other organs are still capable.

He grabs your hand like he is trying to say something. He holds on to you like he doesn't want you to leave him. If you try to pull away he sqeezes tighter, like he's trapped on the inside. He spread his fingers reaching for my hand like he was anticipating my touch.

His vital signs since being admitted to Hopice Care are normal. His blood pressure is slightly elevated, but he has a known blood pressure problem. If a patient is dying, their breathing is rapid and their heart rate is either very high or very low. All of his is completely normal.

Just a couple things I noticed the hour I was there with him. And all of that is with absolutely no medical treatment. These three things also support the nurses' opinion that he needs to be moved to a nursing home.

Top priority for tomorrow, find a new doctor and fire the one that put him in hospice in the first place.